


Important

by Angel_made_of_scars



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Might need trigger warning here, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-01
Updated: 2014-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-14 05:36:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1254892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas starts hurting himself by slamming his fingers in a drawer and his leg in a car door and both times Sam finds out. Previously on fanfiction.net under the same title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Important

"Come on Cas! You gotta lighten up! Sammy's healed, I'm happy, you're home, Kevin's ok, Crowley's locked up, you should go find a chick!" Dean smiled, slapping his shoulder.

"Dean, I don't want to do this." Cas gritted his teeth.

"Oh come on! I'm not letting you leave without at least flirting or something! How 'bout that girl? She looks nice." Dean nodded towards a brunette. But Cas was distracted by a man, slightly taller than him, who happened to look a little like Sam.

"Dude, girls over here." Dean faked a smile, looking at Cas.

"Oh- right- can we leave? I'm not feeling well..." Cas said quietly, fumbling with his hands and standing up from the chair. When he stood up, the chair fell over, crashing and making the man he had been watching look over at him. He walked over and pulled the chair back up, then stuck out his hand.

"I-I'm Dawson." He said shyly.

"C-Cas..." Cas stuttered quietly. Dawson smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck, then noticed they were still holding hands and blush before pulling away quickly. Cas also turned bright pink and tried not to seem awkward, but his bravery was crushed when Dean came up behind him and slapped his shoulder.

"Hey Cas, lets go back to the house, Sam wants takeout and we gotta get there before it closes." Dean faked a smile. Dawson hesitated before grabbing Cas' hand and pulling out a pen from his shirt pocket. He quickly wrote his number and let go of his hand, starting to walk away.

"Wait- can I have that pen?" Cas asked shyly. Dawson smiled and held out the pen, standing with Cas and letting him write a number on his hand. He had recently gotten a cell phone and was giving him that number instead of Deans. When he finished writing he handed back the pen and held his hand for a moment longer before nodding and smiling. He shyly turned away, sending a scared look to Dean as he walked over to him.

"Dean- I think he liked me- what do I do?! He's a man, not a woman! What's the standard procedure for this situation?! " Cas asked frantically.

"Just- lets just go." Dean said awkwardly, pulling towards the exit.

* * *

"Cas? Can I talk to you?" Dean asked quietly, walking into the bunker behind him. The drive back had been tense and silent.

"Yes Dean, what is it?" Cas asked quietly, trying not to look at him directly for fear of blushing.

"Cas... Are you gay?" Dean asked hesitantly, not looking at him.

"What? No!" Cas said quickly, swallowing nervously.

"Ok... Ok, well I lie for a living, and I know you're lying." Dean said, upset when it came out much harsher than he meant for it to be.

"Well why do you care?!" Cas snapped, standing up and walking to his room. Dean huffed in annoyance and tried to follow him, but Cas started running and slammed his door, locking it behind him.

"Dean? What happened?" Sam asked from behind him.

"It's nothing. Ask him if you wanna know." Dean said in a defeated tone. Sam huffed and knocked on the door, hearing nothing.

"Cas, it's Sam, open up." Sam said gently, waiting for his answer.

"Go away!" Cas snapped. He was typing the number he got into his phone, and when he was done he angrily started rubbing his skin where the pen marks were. He should have ignored him, he should have looked away. Why couldn't he just be smart enough to not scare Dean?! He would tell Sam, and Sam would be scared away too!

"Cas, what happened?" Sam asked from outside the door. Sam didn't know. He still didn't want to talk about it. Why wouldn't they leave him alone? Why couldn't Dean have just dropped the subject?!

"Cas, I will break in there." Sam joked, making sure there was a stern undertone to it. Cas fumed. He wasn't sure if he was confused or angry or upset or sad, but he felt like he just couldn't function. Why did it have to happen?! Soon he felt as if everything went numb. Dean didn't like him. Sam didn't like him. Kevin would treat him differently. Crowley would have a new way to taunt him. And suddenly he felt like he couldn't feel. He felt dead. He wanted pain. The pain that felt just like when he hid his feeling, instead of revealing it and getting hurt. He walked over to the dresser and opened it slowly, then slammed it shut, closing his fingers in it. He yelped in pain and opened it carefully, holding his hand delicately. He turned to see Sam had finally gotten in.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry-" Cas whispered, now sobbing against Sams chest. Sam walked him into the bathroom and ran his fingers under the sink water, making him squeal in pain. He seemed to have broken two fingers at least. When the bleeding from his nail stopped, he pulled out a dry towel and dabbed at it, then put ointment and a medical pad on the nail, wrapped it in bandaid, and held onto him as he cried. He tried to make the fingers straighten, but Cas screamed and he let go. He sighed and grabbed the medical kit and pulled out the tape then made Cas sit on the counter. He left the room and came back with popsicle sticks cut in half. He took the stick and looked at Cas sympathetically, then put a hand over Cas' mouth and used his other hand to force the fingers straight. Cas screamed into his hand and Sam whispered an apology. He carefully puy a stick on each side of his finger, left side and right side, and used the tape to keep it on. He put another stick on the second finger and taped it to the first one, then used the last stick to put it across the fingers in a slanted line, keeping them from hitting anything from the front. He put the tape across and then pulled Cas into the bedroom. When he got Cas in front of the closet he pulled out a greyish-green t-shirt and pulled off Cas' white button up, then pulled on the clean shirt. Then he got out a pair of sweat pants and looked away as he pushed Cas' pants off. He held out the sweat pants and Cas slid into them, then surprised Sam when he grabbed onto him and hugged him. Sam hugged him back and pulled him towards the bed, sitting down with him and eventually laying down with Cas curled into his chest. He thought the clothes would be more comfortable, but if this helped too, he would do it.

"P-Please don't tell Dean!" Cas sobbed, cradling the hurt hand into his chest. Sam looked down at him and despite the situation, he smiled. The all powerful ex-angel was crying, breaking down, and he trusted Sam enough to not even try and stop.

"I won't... But... Can you to tell me what happened?" Sam asked quietly. Cas continued crying and shook his head, holding onto Sams shirt as tight as he could with his uninjured hand. Sam rubbed his back and started to shush him, whispering to him and telling him it was ok. He wouldn't say a word.

"Cas, you don't do that ever again ok? Why you would try and hurt yourself I don't know, but I won't let you do it again." Sam whispered.

"You would be better off with me gone." Cas whispered, still sobbing.

"Don't say that. Don't you ever say that." Sam said, his voice choking up.

"Look at me, hey, look at me!" He said, pulling Cas' face up towards his own. He waited a minute until Cas had rubbed the water from his eyes until he started speaking.

"No one would be better off without you Cas. We need you. I need you. Dont you ever do this again Cas. Whatever caused this, it doesn't matter! Don't you ever think you're not important to anyone. Screw everyone. You're important to me." Sam choked out, tears threatening to break through his eyes. Cas froze in shock but after processing what Sam had said he nodded and put his head back down, snuggling into Sam.

"T-Thank you Sam..." Cas whimpered, trying to move closer.

"Goodnight Cas, get some sleep." Sam said quietly.

"Please don't leave!" Cas said frantically, holding onto his shirt much tighter than he had been.

"I wasn't planning on it." Sam said sleepily, snuggling into the warmth of his hair.

* * *

"Cas! You son of a bitch! You slept with my brother?! I don't care about your sexual choices, but there is no way that's happening!" Dean yelled angrily. Cas shrank back and tried to be brave, but he could barely look him in the eyes. Sam had gone out to get food and Cas had stayed home. Apparently Sam had mentioned sleeping in Cas' room before he left and Dean had guessed on what that meant without getting the full story.

"Dean- I don't care what you think. I can make my own choices." Cas said sternly, trying to stand up taller.

"Then why do you need us?! You shouldn't be here if you can make your own choices! You should just leave! Sam is not like that and I won't let either of you get hurt from this!" Dean yelled.

"Why do you get to tell me what to do?!" Cas yelled. Dean lost it. He threw a punch and hit Cas straight in the mouth, not enough to hurt his jaw or teeth, but enough to make his lip bleed and send him flying backwards.

"Stop it!" Sam screamed. He had just walked in and all he heard was the last thing Cas said, then he saw Dean punch him.

"What the hell Dean?! Why are you being such a jackass?! What has Cas done to you?!" Sam yelled, helping Cas off the floor. Cas pushed away and grabbed his jacket, holding his bleeping lip as he ran out the door.

"Sam- you are NOT doing this! You're not like this- you can't do this just because he's a little upset! You'll both end up getting hurt!" Dean yelled, trying to get Sam to listen.

"This?! What is THIS?! No one will tell me!" Sam yelled back, throwing his arms in the air.

"He's gay! You should know! You slept with him!" Dean fumed.

"I slept! As in- slept! In the same bed! What's your problem?!" Sam yelled angrily.

"You're not gay! You're gonna end up hurting him if you give him false hope in something that isn't real! You don't care about him like that!" Dean yelled back at him.

"And what if I DO care?!" Sam screamed, storming out the door and running outside, looking for Cas. When he found him he was at it again, biting into the already split lip and making it bleed more while slamming his ankle in the car door. Sam watched in horror as it seemed to have cut through the skin, and he could see the blood through the pants Cas was wearing.

"Cas! You said you wouldn't do this!" Sam yelled sadly, yanking him away from the car and picking him up. He carried him through the gently falling rain and back into the bunker, pulling out the medical kit and putting Cas' hand firmly over a towel on his leg. He pulled out another cloth and held it to Cas' lip, pushing gently until it had stopped bleeding. It was a swollen and he knew he would need to put ice on it later, but for now he put a brace on Cas' ankle and wrapped his shin, then walked the sobbing man past a still shocked Dean. Cas was crying so hard he was struggling for breath, and the tears were nearly silent except for the whimpers. Sam helped him into the kitchen and he got an ice pack, wrapping it in a paper towel and holding it to Cas' lip. he gone a much bigger ice pack, a soft, cloth, sock-like item, that was made for bigger injuries. It was filled with a chemical that stayed cold much longer than ice and it wouldn't leak. He gently put it against Cas' ankle and Cas yelped when he touched a cut he hadn't seen before. He pulled out a paper towel and dabbed at it carefully, taking of the foot brace and pulling out the ace bandage, putting a small pad over the cut and wrapping his foot and ankle with the ace. He put the brace on again over it, knowing the more still it was while it healed was probably better, at least until it was safe to move it without damaging it more. He turned when he heard Dean behind him.

"I'm sorry I hit you Cas... I got angry and lost it... And I'm sorry I yelled at both of you... I just don't think this is a good idea." Dean said calmly, taking a deep breath and exiting the room slowly. Sam watched him and nodded his thanks, but Cas still didn't say a word. Sam gently helped him off the counter, picking up the ice pack and trying to help him walk. His legs gave out on the first step though, and Sam wasn't quick enough to stop him from falling on his hands and knees. He whimpered in protest and slowly lowered himself. He got half way, but then his arms gave out too and he fell flat, lying stretched out on the floor and sobbing. Sam looked at him helplessly and scooped him up. He struggled but eventually got him to his room. Cas motioned feebly to Sams bed, or to the side of it since he was too dizzy to see straight, and Sam lowered him gently into it, stretching his back out once Cas was out of his arms. Cas whimpered, thinking he was in trouble, and curled into a ball.

"It's ok Cas, it's ok, turn over and look at me." Sam encouraged. He slowly slid off his boots and then helped Cas out of his, before laying down beside him and pulling him closer. Cas sank into the embrace, but whimpered when his lip started throbbing. Sam understood and pushed him back slightly, picking out one piece of ice and wrapping the paper towel around it, touched it gently to his lip. The cold burn felt nice and he moved closer to Sam, keeping the ice on his lip with his stronger hand and letting the other curl up on his own chest. Sam wrapped his arms around Cas and rubbing his back, shushing him until he was just sniffing. He slid the larger ice pack down onto his ankle and wrapped the long item around it, making sure it was comfortable for him before lokking back up and meeting his eyes.

"Sorry... 'M so surry..." He slurred, barely awake now.

"It's ok Cas... I know... It's ok... Deep breaths..." Sam said soothingly, rubbing his back with the arm that was over him and running fingers through his hair with the hand that was under his neck. Soon he was asleep and Sam took the ice away, shutting the bedroom door and pulling the covers over him. He carefully changed clothes and got it with him, moving to the same position as before, gently running fingers through his hair.

When Sam was just starting to fall asleep, he heard a whimpering. He was alert instantly, but when he saw it was Cas, whining in his sleep, he gently laid back down. He started to wake him up, but Cas turned and faced him. His face was screwed up in pain or fear, which one Sam didnt know, maybe both. He started whimpering more and Sam started to shake his shoulder lightly. Finally Cas sat up, the fear still bright in his eyes.

"Cas? It's ok, you were just dreaming. You'll be ok." Sam soothed. He was surprised when Cas didn't move, instead staying quiet and trying to stay still.

"Cas, it's Sam, it's ok." Sam tried again, but to no avail.

"Cas, what's wrong?" Sam asked gently, lifting the covers a little and poking his head in. he could see that the ice had slid off and that Cas' hands were cradling his ankle.

"A-Am I awake?" He whispered.

"Yeah, you ok?" Sam asked gently.

"I knew I was asleep but I couldn't wake up... And my foot hurts..." Cas said quietly.

"I'm different aren't I? Different from when I was an angel." Cas asked sadly.

"Yeah, but it's not bad... You're human..." Sam said comfortingly.

"Cas, I know you don't believe it, but you really are strong. You're more then just another human, you're Castiel. You're important to us." Sam admitted. Cas smiled and looked away, thinking the conversation was over. Even Sam didn't know what he was doing when he leaned over and kissed his cheek. Cas sat stunned for a minute before finally looking up at Sam.

"Can I try that?" Cas asked quietly. Sam nodded and swallowed nervously, not breaking eye contact. Slowly Cas leaned forward and pecked him on the lips. When he pulled back Sam pushed forward, this time locking his lips to Cas' and smiling as Cas responded the same way.

"You really are important to me Cas." Sam smiled, pulling him down with him on the bed. Cas smiled and laid with him, snuggling up to him happily. Sam leaned down under the sheets and wrapped the ice pack around his injured foot and ankle again, then let Cas snuggle against him again.

"You're important to me too Sam." Cas said honestly. When they woke up the next morning, Dean welcomed them downstairs with pancakes. Later they held hands and Sam helped Cas limp across the store as they bought him a pie. Their silent apologies to each other finished, everything was happy. Although Sam and Cas were both a little disturbed when Ezekiel popped up, not bothering to erase Sams memory, yelling to Dean to help him find his previous vessel before the make out session turned into something more.


End file.
